Old Ain't Dead: On Valuing and Encouraging the Contributions of Older People
July 2, 2015
Here at Interfaithfulness, especially through our HaB'er initiative, we are involved in mentoring Jewish and Intermarried families in Jewish life, Yeshua faith, and relationship with God. And families include people of all ages!
But if you think that people beyond a certain age have outlived their usefulness, then don't waste your time reading this because, after all, while you are reading, you are growing older and will sooner or later be useless, with your major contribution being to just stay out of the way.
But if you disagree, and if you think that older folks have much to contribute to the world as a product of their life experience and persepctive, then read on.
Recently I have been reading a wonderful book, Composing a Further Life: The Age of Active Wisdom, by Mary Catherine Bateson, now in her seventies, the Clarence J. Robinson Professor Emerita of Anthropology and English at George Mason University. But that's not the half of it: she is the daughter of Margaret Mead (yes, that Margaret Mead), and Gregory Bateson, two geniuses, and Mary Catherine's intellectual apple doesn't fall far from their tree, except to say that she has a highly developed faith life. And man, can she write! What a mind. A little bonus, her mother's sister was married to Leo Rosten, Jewish wit, author, Yiddishist and raconteur, so he was her uncle Leo! And early in her book she speaks of going to Israel as a young woman and learning Hebrew there. And yes, she also speaks Arabic. What a confluence of influences!
If that's not enough, she was also a teaching assistant to seminal psychologist Erik Erikson who postulated eight eras of human development. She explores these eight stages in her book, to which she adds a ninth, which she terms "Adulthood II," an addition necessitated by how medical science and better living conditions have prolonged our years of productive living.
The chart that follow outlines these nine life-stages. For each, there is an issue, a crisis, to be resolve, and for each there is a positive outcome that is desirable, and a negative outcome that results from not having come through the age-related issue successfully. When that happens, if we are aware, we can spend time later in life making up for the deficit. And generally it is a good idea to do so
LIFE STAGES
TASK/ISSUE TO BE RESOLSVE
POSTIVE OUTCOME
NEGATIVE OUTCOME
1. Infancy
Trust vs. Basic Mistrust
Hope
Withdrawal
2. Early Childhood
Autonomy vs. Shame, Doubt
Will
Compulsion
3. Play Age
Initiative vs. Guilt
Purpose
Inhibition
4. School Age
Industry vs. Inferiority
Competence
Inertia
5. Adolescence
Identity vs. Role Confusion
Fidelity
Repudiation
6. Young Adulthood
Intimacy vs. Isolation
Love
Exclusivity
7. Adulthood I
Generativity vs. Stagnation
Care
Rejectivity
8. Adulthood II
Engagement vs. Withdrawal
Active Wisdom
Indifference
9. Old Age
Integrity (a sense of wholeness) vs. Despair
Receptive Wisdom, Humility
Disdain
Having perused this chart, which comes from Dr. Bateson's book, page 79, consider the following issues and questions. If you are "of a certain age," may these points and questions clarify you own issues, and if you are someone who lives with older people, perhaps in your family or congregation, may these issues and questions transform what you expect of them and the support you give them.
Some Points to Ponder
In some avenues of our culture and in some of our institutions, we tend to think of older people as those who have served their purpose and outgrown their usefulness. They are considered to be in a post-productive stage.
In our day, advances in lifestyles and medical care have extended our lifespans so that there is a need to insert another era into the standard map of people’s lives, which Bateson calls “Adulthood II.” This is a time for reflection, for assessment of the lessons and experiences of life, a time of adjusting and of committing to a role which brings that wisdom and experience to bear on those tasks which the person now views to be most imperative. In fact, it may be a time of greatest impact. Neither those older people, whom we will call elder-sages, nor the contexts with which they interact, can afford to discard or ignore the resources they might bring to the table. As Bateson expresses it, “Part of the challenge then in growing older is to discover the ways arising from a life time of experience and in psite of reduced strength and stamina in which it continues to be possible to contribute” (18).
In the chart above, the tasks accomplished in each stage are meant to bear fruit in the successive stages, and in each successive stage, one does clean up work on the prior stages, consolidating gains and taking care of unfinished business.
Adulthood II is meant to be the most fruitful time of assessing those gains and losses, and of taking care of unfinished business. In speaking of spiritual leaders, Dr Robert Clinton describes this period of Adulthood II as Convergence. “There is a sense of destiny being There is a maximum effort toward achieving one’s ultimate contribution. Quite often though, many leaders do not actually experience convergence (or Adulthood II). There are various reasons for this. Sometimes they are hindered by their own lack of personal development. At other times a organization may hinder a leader from realizing convergence by keeping him or her in a position that limits potential. Some reasons are providential, and may be hard to understand because we do not have the full picture. Convergence, or Aduthood II, when realized, is maximized potential.Such persons may be and usually are semi-retired or retired from former roles, but they still have a capacity for fruitful influence. What follows in Old Age, post- Convergence, when lives are well-lived, is Afterglow or Celebration. The fruit of a well-managed life, or at least a well-managed Adulthood II, a time when others gather around such a person in affirmation and appreciation for the difference they have made. Should we not all aspire to this?
Questions For Older Folks to Consider and Younger Folks to Be Aware Of
As you look over the stages of your life, what unfinished business do you want to address? In other words, in what ways do you think you were arrested in your development? What are you going to do now to balance things out?
In what ways do you see yourself as marginalized in any of your various contexts? Did you contribute to your own marginalization? If so, what can you do to correct that?
Have you chosen to not involve yourself and is this something you think God approves?
Do you agree or disagree with this statement: "It is O.K. for some of us to just sit on the sidelines and let other people do the doing."
Are you at a stage of your life where you are changing roles or directions in some way because you have some contribution you feel you must make or task or adventure you must honor?
What are some ways others see you that you want to correct because they are not the real you?
How might we encourage and assist each other in making our best contribution and in moving toward wholeness in the later stages of life?
How ought younger leaders and laity in our congregations improve how they engage with and utilize the contributions of older people?
How ought older people to best engage with those younger than themselves so that the contributions of each are best encouraged and utilized?
How do our congregations suffer when one or the other generation dominates the agenda?
We use cookies on our website to give you the most relevant experience by remembering your preferences and repeat visits. By clicking “Accept”, you consent to the use of ALL the cookies.
This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Out of these, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. But opting out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience.
Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. These cookies ensure basic functionalities and security features of the website, anonymously.
Cookie
Duration
Description
cookielawinfo-checkbox-advertisement
1 year
Set by the GDPR Cookie Consent plugin, this cookie is used to record the user consent for the cookies in the "Advertisement" category .
cookielawinfo-checkbox-analytics
11 months
This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Analytics".
cookielawinfo-checkbox-functional
11 months
The cookie is set by GDPR cookie consent to record the user consent for the cookies in the category "Functional".
cookielawinfo-checkbox-necessary
11 months
This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookies is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Necessary".
cookielawinfo-checkbox-others
11 months
This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Other.
cookielawinfo-checkbox-performance
11 months
This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Performance".
ct_pointer_data
session
CleanTalk–Used to prevent spam on our comments and forms and acts as a complete anti-spam solution and firewall for this site.
ct_timezone
session
CleanTalk–Used to prevent spam on our comments and forms and acts as a complete anti-spam solution and firewall for this site.
ts
3 years
PayPal sets this cookie to enable secure transactions through PayPal.
ts_c
3 years
This cookie is provided by PayPal when a website is in association with PayPal payment function. This cookie is used to make safe payment through PayPal.
viewed_cookie_policy
11 months
The cookie is set by the GDPR Cookie Consent plugin and is used to store whether or not user has consented to the use of cookies. It does not store any personal data.
Functional cookies help to perform certain functionalities like sharing the content of the website on social media platforms, collect feedbacks, and other third-party features.
Cookie
Duration
Description
nsid
session
This cookie is set by the provider PayPal. This cookie is used to enable the PayPal payment service in the website.
tsrce
3 days
This cookie is set by the provider PayPal. This cookie is used to enable the PayPal payment service in the website.
x-pp-s
session
This cookie is set by the provider PayPal. This cookie is used to process payments from the site.
Performance cookies are used to understand and analyze the key performance indexes of the website which helps in delivering a better user experience for the visitors.
Cookie
Duration
Description
_gat
1 minute
This cookie is installed by Google Universal Analytics to restrain request rate and thus limit the collection of data on high traffic sites.
Analytical cookies are used to understand how visitors interact with the website. These cookies help provide information on metrics the number of visitors, bounce rate, traffic source, etc.
Cookie
Duration
Description
_ga
2 years
The _ga cookie, installed by Google Analytics, calculates visitor, session and campaign data and also keeps track of site usage for the site's analytics report. The cookie stores information anonymously and assigns a randomly generated number to recognize unique visitors.
_gid
1 day
Installed by Google Analytics, _gid cookie stores information on how visitors use a website, while also creating an analytics report of the website's performance. Some of the data that are collected include the number of visitors, their source, and the pages they visit anonymously.
CONSENT
2 years
YouTube sets this cookie via embedded youtube-videos and registers anonymous statistical data.
tk_lr
1 year
The tk_lr is a referral cookie set by the JetPack plugin on sites using WooCommerce, which analyzes referrer behaviour for Jetpack.
tk_or
5 years
The tk_or is a referral cookie set by the JetPack plugin on sites using WooCommerce, which analyzes referrer behaviour for Jetpack.
tk_r3d
3 days
JetPack installs this cookie to collect internal metrics for user activity and in turn improve user experience.
Advertisement cookies are used to provide visitors with relevant ads and marketing campaigns. These cookies track visitors across websites and collect information to provide customized ads.
Cookie
Duration
Description
c
20 years
This cookie is set by Rubicon Project to control synchronization of user identification and exchange of user data between various ad services.
IDE
1 year 24 days
Google DoubleClick IDE cookies are used to store information about how the user uses the website to present them with relevant ads and according to the user profile.
test_cookie
15 minutes
The test_cookie is set by doubleclick.net and is used to determine if the user's browser supports cookies.
VISITOR_INFO1_LIVE
5 months 27 days
A cookie set by YouTube to measure bandwidth that determines whether the user gets the new or old player interface.
YSC
session
YSC cookie is set by Youtube and is used to track the views of embedded videos on Youtube pages.
yt-remote-connected-devices
never
YouTube sets this cookie to store the video preferences of the user using embedded YouTube video.
yt-remote-device-id
never
YouTube sets this cookie to store the video preferences of the user using embedded YouTube video.
Other uncategorized cookies are those that are being analyzed and have not been classified into a category as yet.
Cookie
Duration
Description
_calendly_session
21 days
No description available.
_ir
session
The cookie is set by Pinterest. We do not know the exact purpose of the cookies.
apbct_cookies_test
session
CleanTalk–Used to prevent spam on our comments and forms and acts as a complete anti-spam solution and firewall for this site.
apbct_page_hits
session
CleanTalk–Used to prevent spam on our comments and forms and acts as a complete anti-spam solution and firewall for this site.
apbct_pixel_url
session
No description
apbct_prev_referer
session
No description available.
apbct_site_landing_ts
session
CleanTalk–Used to prevent spam on our comments and forms and acts as a complete anti-spam solution and firewall for this site.
apbct_site_referer
3 days
No description available.
apbct_timestamp
session
CleanTalk–Used to prevent spam on our comments and forms and acts as a complete anti-spam solution and firewall for this site.
apbct_urls
3 days
No description available.
apbct_visible_fields
session
CleanTalk–Used to prevent spam on our comments and forms and acts as a complete anti-spam solution and firewall for this site.
ct_checked_emails
session
No description
ct_checkjs
session
CleanTalk–Used to prevent spam on our comments and forms and acts as a complete anti-spam solution and firewall for this site.
ct_fkp_timestamp
session
CleanTalk–Used to prevent spam on our comments and forms and acts as a complete anti-spam solution and firewall for this site.
ct_has_scrolled
session
No description
ct_ps_timestamp
session
CleanTalk–Used to prevent spam on our comments and forms and acts as a complete anti-spam solution and firewall for this site.
ct_screen_info
session
No description
enforce_policy
1 year
No description available.
KHcl0EuY7AKSMgfvHl7J5E7hPtK
20 years
No description available.
l7_az
30 minutes
No description available.
LANG
9 hours
No description
m
2 years
No description available.
paypal-offers--country
3 days
No description available.
sc_f
5 years
No description available.
tk_ai
5 years
Gathers information for WordPress by themselves, first party analytics tool about how WP services are used. A collection of internal metrics for user activity, used to improve user experience.
tk_qs
30 minutes
Gathers information for WordPress by themselves, first party analytics tool about how WP services are used. A collection of internal metrics for user activity, used to improve user experience.